Merry Christmas 2006

Well not too long to go now. Only 3 more shopping days!
I would like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and provide you with 5 great tips to help you survive through to the new year. No one wants to be a late entrant for the Darwin awards now do they?!?!
1. If you haven't had your work party yet, remember not to sit on the
photocopier. The nurses at A&E rarely see the funny side when they're
pulling shards of glass out of your ass.

2. If you decide to pour flaming brandy over your Christmas pudding
ensure you're not wearing a Santas beard at the same time. Not even
Gillete Fusion shaves close enough to remove molten plastic.

3. Don't drink and drive. If it's icy outside you really should have
both hands on the steering wheel.

4. If a member of your family has asked for a wee this Christmas. They
will not be satisfied with the VIP access all areas toilet pass you
printed for them. I suspect they may really want a games console.

5. Enjoy yourself.

Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!